Roadblocks to Destiny

By: David I. Defoe, LCPC-S, NCC


There are many thoughts, attitudes, or feelings that come to our mind and hearts that are deterrents to us moving forward in meaningful ways. Truthfully the habitual counter-productive attitudes and mindsets that rob us our our potential, and progress can be challenged. I have come up with 5 roadblocks to our destiny (ironically they all start with the letter D).

Dwelling on the Past. – For some of us we had great glory days. The times when we were on top of the world, had a little money in our pocket, and lived life care-free. For others the past was not all that great, but was full of heartache, abuse, disappointment or many other difficult things. No matter how great your past was, or how terrible it was… it cannot help you move forward into the future. We are supposed to learn the lessons from our past, but we cannot live in the past. Dwelling on past success will not help you face tomorrow’s challenges, and dwelling on past pain or failure does not equip you with the necessary drive and determination to face the challenges of the present or the future.

Delaying Moving Forward – Have you ever decided to start a new diet, or make some very important life change, and you found yourself giving yourself a start date. I do not know how may times I have said it… This is my last… (fill in the blank), on _______, I am going start my diet. Truth be told if your start date is not at the very moment of conception for your plan… you are wasting time. Lets be honest. There is never any better time for change than the present. Every second you delay only pushes you one more moment from your goal.

Doubting our Abilities – I don't know who said it, but I read a quote one day that said, "Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will."  It is normal when you attempt to climb a mountain that no one has ever climbed before to question whether you are the one who can accomplish something never seen or done.  But the reality is, even if we fail at what we set out to do, we tried.  Do not let doubt, or the fear of the unknown keep you from trying.  Sure it is possible you may fall short, but at least you tried.  You never ever have a chance at accomplishing what you desire to do if you do not try.  So dig deep, believe in yourself, and who knows... you may prove yourself right.

Discouragement – REALLY… If you have big dreams, do not share your big dreams with small minded people. The problem with small minded people is they will take the big dreams you have and try their best to cut them down to their size. Resist the need to have the approval of others. Sure you need support, but not everyone can be in your corner cheering you along. You have to close your ears to the cynics, the negative people, and the dreamcatchers.

Distractions – Whenever you set out to accomplish something, make sure you keep the main thing you are working toward the main thing. When you have a dream or a goal in mind, everything you do should be a step in the direction of where you want to go. If something is going to take you on a detour… Don’t do it. Once you have a clear goal in mind, put blinders on if you have too in order to stick with it. Additionally, the fewer things you attempt to accomplish at one time, the better your chances will be in meeting your goals.

Imara Counseling Services is an independent counseling practice located in Laurel, Maryland, that provides person-centered therapeutic services for a wide variety of mental, behavioral, and psycho-social concerns.